The Benchwarmers


Produced by Adam Sandler, written by Allen Covert (Grandma’s Boy) and acted by Rob Schneider (Deuce Bigolo), do you smell disaster coming?

Really shouldn’t spend too much time on this. If you love gross-out jokes, men who dig their noses, eat shit and spend time playing baseball against little children, then you can spend 90 minutes of your life watching it. The consolation is at least it’s occasionally funny, appealing to the lowest common denominator.

Uh-oh, it reached Number 2 first week in US Box Office. What can I say? People need some kind of 'entertainment' right?

The Benchwarmers – At least better than Grandma's Boy

X-Men: The Final Stand


10 trivia about X-Men: The Final Stand

1) Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) loses his shirt near the end of the movie which cheers female fans.
2) Mystique (Rebecca Romijn) loses more than her skin which does not cheer male fans.
3) Storm (Halle Berry) ends up No 2. in the movie poster with a new and much better haircut. That’s what fame can do.
4) Angel (Ben Foster) is No.3 in the poster but does very, very little in the movie except ..... fly? That’s what a good bod can do.
5) Magneto (Ian McKellen) will get his own movie in 2007. Incidentally, Ian McKellen is in 2 summer blockbusters, Da Vinci Code being the other.
6) Arclight (Omahyra) is NOT a transvestite (though my friend claims she is one) and was even voted one of the 50 Most Beautiful People in 2001.
7) Gambit (was offered to Josh Holloway from Lost) is one of the key mutants who hasn’t appeared in the movie series.
8) Leech (Cameron Bright) who is the cure for X-Men, has also appeared as the cure for Ultraviolet as the boy Six.
9) Nightcrawler (Alan Cumming) and Deathstrike (Kelly Hu) are missing from this movie even though they signed up for 2 movies.
10) Don’t leave before the end of the credits.

X-Men: The Final Stand - I do not think this is the Final Stand (refer to 10).

Love Story 爱情故事


An author gets into relationships to find inspirations to write his next best selling love story. The 4 women in his life are:

1) Theatre usher aka Ms Ninja Girl (Tracy Tan) who talks non-stop behind her mask.
2) Coquettish policewoman (Erica Lee) who loves making out in her uniform and hand cuffs. (Ooo... Ix will so prefer this than an I-Gallop)
3) Mousey librarian (Evelyn Tan) who will remind you of your Mathematics teacher. (She speaks the best Chinese but gets the least lines.)
4) Ah-Lian (Amanda Ling) who acts in dramas, dresses up like a Goth and ties you up like a character from the movie Hostel.

Kelvin Tong gathered the Best Director from this year’s Singapore International Film Festival. He brought us both arthouse and commercial pieces such as Eating Air, The Maid and the telemovie I used to watch late night no Channel U. His eye for visuals and direction is strong. Though people say he is a Wong Ka Wai wannabe, I beg to differ as their styles are very different.

Unfortunately, nobody really understands Love Story as it goes back and forth between friction and reality. Perhaps it is a little too experimental and self indulgent for the public’s liking.

A pity the movie only draws its laughs from the characters’ general poor grasp of Mandarin and exaggerated (or should I say bad?) acting. Erica Lee drew the most laughs. Go figure.

Love Story - Yes, Love is always this complicated and uncomprehensible.

Movies depicting father-and-son relationships often portray long journeys, as seen from La Grand Voyage and Riding Alone for Thousand of Miles. After the more commercial releases Hero and House of Flying Daggars, Zhang Yi Mou returns to direct this moving arthouse story.

When a Japanese father finds that his estranged son is dying, he decided to film a Chinese opera while his son left unfinished. Through his journey, he bridges the gap of an opera singer and his illegitimate son, also discovering a sense of family which he lost long ago.

Though only slightly about 100 minutes, this movie feels exceptionally long. Time is doubled because every Japanese/Chinese dialogue is translated. Read the subtitles if all else fails.

Colours have always been used strongly in Zhang’s films. Similarly, the movie offers picturesque scenery that will make any Canon digital camera holder proud. Otherwise, it may come across as being tedious and extended, which churns up a feeling of frustration. Perhaps this is what the director hopes to achieve. Have you ever tried talking to your dad/son without feeling frustrated yourself?

Riding Alone for Thousands of Miles – A colourful but long, long journey

Over The Hedge


When was the last time you watched a good animation movie? Madagascar was overhyped, The Wild was a copy, Valiant (who remembers?) was plain, Zodiac was a joke and all the rest were just disappointing.

During Over The Hedge’s pre-screening, it earned support and reviews which was even better than Shrek 1 and 2. Now, that’s something worth looking out for.

Bruce Willis is the voice of a con-artist raccoon RJ, who coaxes several creatures that life and food over the hedge was better. Be charmed by the strong characterisations of the cautious ‘reptile’ turtle Verne, hyper squirrel Hammy, porcupines, possums and the sexy but smelly skunk Stella.

A good cartoon should always bring along morals of kinship, love and friendship for its audience. Over The Hedge does all that, and is chirpy, fun and clever. Most importantly, there is sarcastic undertones on how humans live their life. Yes, we do live to eat.

Over The Hedge – Finally. Get over for a joy ride and a good laugh.

Da Vinci Code


One year ago, I picked up reading once again (as I finally got the time from reservist). The choice was Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code. To date, it is still my favourite thriller novel and I will still highly recommend if you have not read it.

One year latter, (and after waiting so long in anticipation) I finally caught the premiere. It kept me perpetually gripping my seat and gasping at certain points. As the movie narrates, imaginary in my mind unfolds – indeed the movie has stayed very true in its adaptation. To condense it to a 2-hour plus movie, director Ron Howard has done the best he could.

No doubt, this IS the most controversial film of 2006. Critics have slammed it; religious groups have protested against it;
non-readers laughed. Frankly speaking, if Bruce Almighty was God, Neo was The One, why can’t Jesus marry Mary Magdalene? For goodness sake, both the book and the movie are friction.

At the end of the movie, I could hear claps, but were '
stopped' by some laughter. Would have wanted to clap as well, because the production values of the movie is very high. You could't ask for a better casting, unless Harrison Ford is 20 years younger.

My take is: The book is still better as you are involved in solving the mystery together, keeping you riveted to the pages. Non-readers would be more confused than ever – what are anagrams, cryptologists or Opus Dei? Therefore, read the book first.

One of the best movie adaptations ever, and shall I say strictly for fans only? My student asked if I ever cast any doubt about Jesus after reading Da Vinci, all I could say strong Christian faith will never be shaken by a fictitious book or movie.

Da Vinci Code – Leave the controversies behind and enjoy the movie.



Josh Lucas starred in Stealth and An Finished Life which bombed. Emmy Rossum was Christine in Phantom of the Opera which didn’t win rave reviews. Kurt Russel was last seen in several unmemorable movies like Sky High. All three star in Poseidon which sinks.

Fans of Poseidon Adventure (from 1972) and "Jack meets Rose" Titanic will be disappointed. There is no love story, no emotional aspect, no tears shed when people die on the ship. Do expect lots and lots of CGI though.

Do not get me wrong. Poseidon still gears up several intense moments when a group of survivors try to get to the bottom propeller when the cruise liner capsizes upside down. Expect water, fire, screams and water.

Some people live and many people die. Those who did were reduced to simply one of the many bodies. And when one of the lead fails to survive (sorry for the spoiler), you just go, “Hmm, all right. Next.”

Poseidon- Spectacular 3D effects and uninspiring 1D characters

Grandma's Boy


There MUST be a reason why they still make and show movies like this.

This is one of those worse-than-Sandler movies. Imagine a room full of computer geeks.
One cums on another’s mother. One loves to suck off a Pamela Anderson look-alike. The other loses his virginity to a grandmother who gave Charlie Chaplin a blowjob.

Sorry for being crude, but this is practically what the whole movie is about. It can be downright silly-funny, but having everyone including the 3 grandmothers smoke weed is really "duh".

Grandma’s Boy – What’s the Point?

Jasmine Woman (Chinese)


One Movie. Two Actresses. Three Stories.

This is Ms Geisha in thee different roles which won her the Best Actress Award 2 years ago. Divided into three stories, Zhang Ziyi plays Mo, Li, Hua (Get it? Mo Li Hua = Jasmine), the grandmother, mother and daughter. Joan Chan plays the great grandmother, grandmother and mother respectively.

Don’t be confused. Jasmine Women reflects women in three different periods of Cosmopolitan Shanghai. They all make the same mistake – falling in love with the wrong men. Veteran actor Jiang Wen plays the flirtatious movie director, Lu Yi the stubborn comrade, and Liu Ye the overseas scholar.

Stereotypes aside, the movie is cinematographically beautiful in portraying the traumatic years of China from the Cultural Revolution to the 90s. Zhang Ziyi CAN act, as she tackles the 3 roles tailored for her comfortably. Unfortunately (or fortunately), she is trounced by Joan Chen who is simply splendid in her portrayal of the matriarch.

All bias aside, Jasmine Women actually shows how intricate a Made-In-China movie can be. Fans of Ziyi, this is probably one of her best works.

Jasmine Women – A movie for most mothers. (Incidentally, distributors will also be releasing one of Gong Li’s previous works, Beautiful Mother.)

Mission Impossible 3


The 3rd of the series is co-written and directed by J.J. Abrams who brought you Alias and Lost. Most have been said by other film reviewers, so I will just focus on the actors.

Tom Cruise – Looking visibly older, he reprises his role comfortably. Interestingly, you do not remember much of them after the movie, possibly because we have seen all of that in Part 1 and 2.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman – Fresh from his Oscar win in Capote, he does a 360 degree turn from effeminate author to the ruthless villain. He steals the show from everyone.

Maggie Q – All eyes are on her. I wished she kicked more ass but she is a prettier Asian chick in red and a vehicle than Ms Geisha.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers – Tom has placed an equally, or even better good looking man (from Bend It Like Beckham and Matchpoint) in the same movie. But Jonathan has never quite reached the A-list yet. Let's just say acting skills wise, Tom has met his match.

Laurence Fishburne – He never fails to scare people. Put him in scary movie.

Gimmicks all seem familiar, probably what you would catch in a James Bond movie. Expect nothing new. Overall, it is still an entertaining, fast-paced blockbuster for the family.

Mission Impossible 3 – Better than 2. 1 is the classic.



Friend 1 fell sick and could not sleep or eat for 1 day.
Friend 2 swore off meat, but only for 2 days.
Friend 3 blamed her boyfriend for 3 days.

Hostel, said to be the most frightening movie in 10 years. Will most likely charm fans of blood, guts, gore and body parts. Body parts meaning:
a) Dilapidated arms, legs, thighs, heads etc
b) Tits, boobs, breasts, heads…. Opps, they mean the same thing.

3 backpackers embark on a trip to Eastern Europe and find more sex they can ask for. Of course, it comes at a price, a heavy price. They ended up being sold to human-chopping humans who pay a price for the pleasure of killing.

*Gasp* Hostel is loosely based on real experiences in Thailand of people paying a sum to kill others. More *Gasp*.You will never look at chain saws, drills and blow torches in the same light again.

Hostel – Bring you girlfriend to watch Hostel if you want to break up with her. She WILL hate you. If she enjoys it, time to reconsider.

(5 stars for gore value)

You Are My Sunshine (Korean)


"So who's going to die this time?"

Strangely, that was the first thing my friend said when I said we were going to watch a Korean movie. No, not what the story was about or who's acting in it.

Yes, for the last few Korean movies I watched, somebody will die of
1) Cancer, usually blood cancer
2) Accident, before that the person will lose the memory first
3) Some kind of sickness other than blood cancer

This time it's Aids. Aids? Well, at least it's something new. And it is based on a true story.

Farmer meets coffee-shop girl and falls in love. This coffee-shop girl offers extra 'services' along with free delivery. Not cheap ah, this coffee.
This should give a whole new meaning to them instead of aunties with large waist pouches.

Prepare your Kleenex, girls. Because this farmer's true undying love is going to take your heart away. Sob. Sob.

You Are My Sunshine - This is the best selling Korean love movie. Sob Sob.

Daisy (Korean)


"This one Sassy girl meh? No lah, so fat, got double chin some more."

I made the legitimate mistake of not recognizing one of Asia's biggest star Jeon Ji-Hyun because of her new chin. Amsterdam should employ her as their food ambassador. Her fans, please forgive me okay?

You may divide his movie into you – The Korean and The Hong Kong. Let's start with the Korean: Ms Sassy Girl no longer kicks and punches with her hands, but instead uses them to paint beautiful daisies from Amsterdam. You see lots of slow beautiful pans of daisies and reminiscing about love. Bring in the 2 guys, the good and the bad, and you get a love triangle. So typical right? That's not all.

The Hong Kong second half: Mr Good Guy (Cop) and Bad Guy (Killer) faces off. One of them dies. No prize for guessing who. Triad boss speaks Cantonese and there is a slow-mo gun fight at the end. Think Infernal Affairs.

Infernal Affairs Andrew Lau directed Daisy, hence the similarity. He wants to tell you they are NOT the same movie, despite the similar titles Wu Jian Dao and Ai Wu Jian. Just in case you are wondering why Daisy is translated as Ai Wu Jian, Andrew Lau doesn't know why either.

Daisy - Korean romance meets Hong Kong thriller

Beyond The Sea


I know I am 2 weeks late in updating my blog. Life has been a mad rush since school started, but everything will go on just fine.

The reason why I am always so busy is I try to do many things at the same time – yes, I still have not learnt my lesson. Hey, it is about time management and planning. People probably think I am crazy, but read this.

Kevin Spacey (from American Beauty) fame produced, directed, acted, sang, dance and wrote the screenplay for this movie. Friends of mine in some production house or MediaCorp – I know you have to do everything, but look at this man. He's doing more than everything! If I had read the makeup or props crew member team, I am probably find his name there.

He actually does not sound too bad singing songs from the legendary Bobby Darin. Unfortunately, Bobby Darin's life isn't as dramatic as Ray Charles or Johnny Cash, as last seen in two Oscar nominated movies. Other than the fact that Bobby talks to his imaginary friend (when he was a child), there isn't really much of a climax.
Call it a vanity project or "bao kao liao" by Kevin Spacey, Beyond The Sea is still an entertaining music piece.

Beyond The Sea – Too old, too ambitious, but not too bad

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